


i don't wanna be all alone (and defeated)

by matskreider



Series: gentle as sin [2]
Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Daddy Kink, Dom/sub Undertones, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Oral Sex, post 2015-2016 season
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-03
Updated: 2017-06-03
Packaged: 2018-11-08 16:14:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11085240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matskreider/pseuds/matskreider
Summary: In his periphery, he can see Lu sit back a bit against the leather seat. “You have to tell me what you need, Eddie. Even if it’s just pasta and beer. I want to help you.”“Tell me what to do,” he whispers, and it’s progress from the silence of before. “Please.”Lu nods, reaching over and gently cupping Eddie’s cheek. “Are you going to be a good boy for me?”The breath Eddie lets out feels almost like he’s been punched. “Yes, please, I promise I will be,” he croaks, leaning into the touch, eyes closed.(eddie's disappointed in himself after the last game of the season; lu helps as best he can)





	i don't wanna be all alone (and defeated)

**Author's Note:**

> unbeta'd, all mistakes are mine. title taken from "defeated" by bad suns. you should take a listen.

“Eddie.” 

The younger goaltender looks up at Lu, who’s got his car keys in his hand. He says nothing, his hands hanging limp and useless between his knees. The game had been horrible, and it was against the Panthers, against  _ Lu  _ of all people. 5-2, there was no bullshitting it. It had been a shit game, Florida leading 3-0 by the end of the second and no one was able to stop the bleeding.

It was a shit way to end their regulation season.

It got worse and cycled down further and further, and while Eddie was the variety of goalie where he could forget nearly everything in the moment, to look forward to what was coming next and be prepared and excited, he was also the type to spiral down the moment the cameras left.

He hadn’t even showered yet. Nor did he think that Lu would want to see him after this.

So he mutely lowers his head once more, hiding his face in shame.

Lu approaches and Eddie grinds his jaw. He doesn’t want the sympathy right now, he doesn’t want to be coddled, he doesn’t want --

A hand in his hair pulls his head back up, forcing him to look Lu in the eye. “Get up and get dressed. You’re coming back to mine.”

Eddie doesn’t have any comebacks to that. He nods mutely and stands, methodically stripping out of his Under Armor.

By the time he’s back in his game day suit, still sweaty from the game and feeling gross both emotionally and physically, the team had long since cleared out. He walks out of the locker room and is greeted by the sight of Lu talking with Eric.

The Canes captain looks at Eddie over Lu’s shoulder, giving him the briefest of nods. “See you in time for clean out,” he directs to the Swede, before turning and taking his leave.

Eddie doesn’t quite feel abandoned by his captain, so much as he thinks that he  _ deserves  _ this. His play was shit, in his opinion, and he didn’t want to have to look Eric in the face and watch him try to play nice. Even if he’d done so in front of the cameras, Eddie knew he’d let everyone down.

Somehow, in the midst of all of that, he’s guided into the passenger seat of Lu’s car, and buckled in like a child. Lu comes around to the driver’s side and puts the car into reverse, backing out of the lot. 

The ride back to Lu’s place passes by in silence, only the sound of the engine and the cars around them interrupting the silence. They pull up to Lu’s place, the house he’d splurged for when he’d gotten traded back to the Panthers, and Lu doesn’t give Eddie any more time in his own head.

“What do you need?”

Eddie opens his eyes, not remembering when he had closed them. Slowly, he turns to look at Lu, his brows furrowed over wide eyes. “I-I don’t...deserve anything.” 

“What makes you say that?” Lu asks calmly.

“I played bad. Let the team down. D-don’t deserve...nice.”

“Do you want to be punished, chick?”

Eddie’s lower lip trembles as he shakes his head minutely. That would only make it worse, and he didn’t want that. He wanted to earn kindness, but he didn’t want to be punished for what had already happened. That much, he wanted to forget.

In his periphery, he can see Lu sit back a bit against the leather seat. “You have to tell me what you need, Eddie. Even if it’s just pasta and beer. I want to help you.”

“Tell me what to do,” he whispers, and it’s progress from the silence of before. “Please.”

Lu nods, reaching over and gently cupping Eddie’s cheek. “Are you going to be a good boy for me?”

The breath Eddie lets out feels almost like he’s been punched. “Yes, please, I promise I will be,” he croaks, leaning into the touch, eyes closed.

“I know you will. When we go inside, I want you to go upstairs and shower. Can you do that for me?” It’s a simple question, but an obvious test. 

Eddie nods, his fingers already playing with his cuffs. If he wanted Lu to come upstairs with him, all he’d have to do is ask. But he could do this much on his own. He could be good for Lu.

“Good boy.” The words send a shiver of pleasure down Eddie’s spine, and then there’s a little nudge. “Get out, now.”

He follows the order, sliding out of the car and waiting until Lu had locked it before heading inside through the garage door. He left his shoes in the kitchen but walked the rest of the way upstairs without taking anything else off. Getting to the master bedroom was a small bit of an achievement, but looking at the rumpled bedsheets, probably from Lu’s afternoon nap, made him realize just how tired he was.

He was used to using Lu’s shower, and went through the motions methodically. Eddie had never brought in his own products, just content to use whatever Lu had lying around. (Except for hair gel, Eddie didn’t really like to use hair gel.)

By the time he steps out, he feels cleaner, both physically and mentally. As he dries himself off, stepping out of the bathroom, he smells something cooking downstairs. Or maybe being reheated. His stomach growls at the thought, and he wonders what he will be allowed to wear. He doesn’t really want to put his gameday suit back on, but --

Oh.

Lu already took care of that.

Folded on the bed (the only thing folded on that bed) are a pair of Eddie’s own sweatpants that he thought he took back home with him after the last time, and a shirt of Lu’s. Eddie puts them both on, fluffing his hair with the towel afterwards.

Normally April in southern Florida was quite hot, but Lu had the AC on what felt like -500 so the sweatpants were actually a boon.

He pads downstairs, making his way into the kitchen. Lu’s there, flipping over some eggs. Two protein shakes are waiting on the counter, and Eddie stands there, unsure if he should take a seat at the island or if he should go over to Lu.

Luckily, Lu turns around and notices Eddie’s conflict. He motions to the island, indicating for him to sit. “Do you feel better now?” 

Eddie nods, turning the protein shake slowly around in front of him. It’s strawberry banana.

Lu sets a plate down in front of him, with three fried eggs on it and some toast. The next thing he feels is a gentle hand in his hair, rubbing at his scalp. He closes his eyes and leans into the touch, humming softly.

“You did so good, chick,” Lu murmurs, and Eddie shivers again. “Eat your dinner now. If you want more, just ask.” 

“Okay,” Eddie mumbles, forcing his eyes open and reaching for his fork. Lu’s hand stopping his hand makes him freeze. 

“Okay what?” 

Eddie blushes, the red warmth spreading across the bridge of his nose and over the apples of his cheeks. “Okay, Papa.”

Lu smiles and lets Eddie’s hand go. “Good boy.”

Eddie smiles to himself softly before getting to work eating. It’s overall quiet, and he knew he was hungry but it didn’t hit him just  _ how  _ hungry he was until he was actually eating. He cleared the plate in relative record time, and then set about drinking his protein shake.

On his second pull from the sweet yet slightly chalky drink, he watches as Lu gets up and makes his way to the sink. He dumps their plates, and by the time Eddie is done, Lu takes his glass too.

Eddie’s no longer hungry, but with his stomach satisfied, he’s really feeling the effects of the game played earlier. His hips and groin were starting to stiffen up, and overall soreness had settled into his bones. His eyes flutter shut before he realizes what’s happening. 

“Hey, no, not here. Not yet.”

His eyes fly open again to try and hide the fact that he’d been dozing off. “I’m sorry Papa, I didn’t-” 

Lu shushes him, stepping closer and putting his hand on Eddie’s cheek. “It’s okay, chick. Papa’s not mad. Just don’t want you falling asleep on the counter, right?” he murmurs, rubbing his thumb over Eddie’s cheekbone.

“Y-yes Papa, s-sorry.” 

Lu presses a kiss to his forehead which silences the younger goaltender. “Don’t apologize, baby. You don’t have to. Do you want to go to bed now?”

“Yes please.” He just wants this day to be over, wants to be asleep curled up in Lu’s bed, and to wake up tomorrow and hopefully have brushed this off.

But then he remembers that the Panthers made the playoffs and that the playoff games start in five days. The realization sends a shock down his spine and he focuses on Lu. “Aren’t you...don’t you have, um...practice? Tomorrow?”

Lu shakes his head. “Don’t worry about that, chick.” 

“Papa I don’t wanna…”

Lu’s expression softens at that. “You don’t want to be alone tomorrow?” he murmurs.

Eddie nods, reaching out and tugging softly at the hem of Lu’s t-shirt.

“It’s optional skate, but I do have to go in for the afternoon, have some appointments to keep. But we can talk about this in the morning, alright? You need sleep, baby, and I do too.”

The taller goalie bites his lower lip, but stands up anyway. He takes Lu’s hand, lacing their fingers together. “Okay, Papa.”

Lu leads them to bed, pulling Eddie in tight against his chest. Eddie folds easily into Lu’s grasp, curling his lanky body into the solid warmth of Lu’s embrace. Tomorrow would be better, he hoped.

It had to be. 

Sleep took him quickly, but he managed to mumble a, “Goodnight, Papa,” before he passed out. 

* * *

Eddie wakes up deeper in his headspace than he was before he’d gone to bed. This isn’t the first time that it’s happened, but normally it coincides with physical pain or significant stress. What was there to be stressed about? They aren’t going to playoffs, he wasn’t going to Worlds - there was nothing.

He knew that going into last night's game, but it all came back to him the moment he’d woken up. In a childish move, he rolled over and hid his face against Lu’s chest, curling up into a tight ball.

Eddie feels Lu stretch as he wakes up, the increased breathing rate, the slight quiver in his muscles. There’s a moment of stillness, where Eddie can tell Lu is kind of figuring out what happened to get Eddie clinging to him like this, but eventually he just gives up with a soft cooing sound. 

“Not feeling any better, are you?”

Eddie shakes his head, rubbing his forehead against Lu’s chest. “N-no, Papa. I-i-it’s the end of the season a-a-and I couldn’t get them a win, one last win. I-I let them down.”

Lu runs a hand down Eddie’s back, gently smoothing out the stress. “You didn’t let anyone down, chick. The puck has to get past five other guys before it makes its way to you.” 

“But i-i-it’s my job to stop it.”

“I know it is, baby, I know. And you’re good at it.  _ You are, _ ” he asserts, cutting off Eddie’s reply. “Your father coached you well,  _ I  _ taught you well, and you work so hard at everything you put your mind to.”

Eddie sniffles a bit, shaking his head in refusal. “Don’t think s-s-so.”

Lu’s quiet for a moment, before he pulls back a bit to look at Eddie. “What do you need right now, baby?”

“...f-feel good.” 

“Want Papa to make you feel good?” 

Eddie nods, and Lu clicks his tongue. 

“No, I need you to talk to me, sweetheart.” 

Lu piling on the sweet names sends him down a little bit further. He rolls onto his back, biting his lower lip as he looks over at Lu. He’s been told before that he has a face that’s too innocent for a professional hockey player, but here, in this context, it works for him. Sometimes it’s only by virtue of being so damn tall and having the beard that he does that no one cards him. 

“Please, Papa - m-make me feel good?” he asks softly. He doesn’t imagine the way that Lu’s eyes darken before he sits up, pushing back the covers. Eddie’s shirt had ridden up over the night, exposing his ribs and the cut of his hips. Eddie shivers as Lu settles his hands there on the exposed skin, slowly pushing his shirt up until it’s tucked under his chin.

Lu rubs his fingers up against Eddie’s nipples, and Eddie feels his cock twitch in his sweatpants. Lu notices and smirks. “You like that, chick?”

“Yes, Papa, feels good…” His morning wood had already started to flag a bit, but with the renewed attention, his body was catching up. He spreads his thighs invitingly, but Lu seems content to just circle Eddie’s nipples with his thumbs, occasionally scraping his nail against the budding flesh. The juxtaposition between pleasure and pain winds Eddie up further, and he tries to pull Lu down closer to him.

Lu obliges, leaning down until they could kiss. Eddie opens up under his touch, licking into Lu’s mouth. Lu does something with his fingers that sends a shiver up Eddie’s back, causing him to arch up. He whimpers softly, deepening the kiss. If Lu isn’t going to give him what he wants, he’ll just have to take it himself.

He wraps his legs around Lu’s waist, pulling them closer together. Rocking his hips up, the friction of sweatpants against boxers feeling delicious. Lu doesn’t stop him, so he does it again, and again, falling into a rhythm. 

Their kiss breaks apart and Lu makes his way down to Eddie’s chest, shifting his weight back, leaving Eddie without anything to grind against. As Lu licks over one of Eddie’s nipples, the younger goaltender can’t help but gasp. “P-please…” he moans, and Lu looks up at him, sliding his hands down Eddie’s sides.

Lu says nothing, just continues his journey southward, until he comes to the band of Eddie’s sweatpants. He palms Eddie’s dick through the clothing, a dark spot already growing from the precum dripping freely from his tip. Eddie groans at the attention, and rocks his hips up, trying to get more attention.

Regrettably, Lu’s hands move on, but he tugs down Eddie’s sweats as he goes, leaving him bare from his shoulders down. His cock lays against his stomach, flushed red and twitching. He reaches down to touch himself, but his hand gets slapped away by Lu.

His protest dies in his throat as he watches Lu lower his head and take him into his mouth. The hot, wet suction takes Eddie’s breath away from him, until he’s gasping at the attention. It’s not that he’s never gotten a blowjob before, it’s just that, when they play like this, or when he gets in this headspace, he’s moreso the one  _ giving  _ rather than receiving. At least, as far as it comes to blowjobs.

And Lu’s not dragging it out, not teasing him like he knows he would otherwise. He’s pulling out all the tricks, doing whatever he can to get Eddie right to the edge. He bites his lower lip to try and keep his moans to himself, but Lu brings his hand up to tease at his nipples again, and he’s gone. He comes down Lu’s throat, his hands bunched into fists in the bed sheets. The warm, hazy feeling post orgasm settles over him, and he closes his eyes to revel in the feeling.

He feels Lu pull off, feels the gentle, kittenish licks he gives to his tip. He hears the sheets moving against each other as Lu crawls back up the bed to him, and he shivers when Lu presses a kiss to his forehead. When he opens his eyes, Lu’s looking back down at him, concerned but also ever-loving. 

“Papa…”

“How’re you feeling, baby?”

Eddie reaches out to trace his fingers down Lu’s abdomen. “Better, Papa. But what about you?”

Lu grabs Eddie’s wrist, halting his journey to the waistband of his boxers. “Do  _ you _ want to?” 

The younger man nods, meeting Lu’s gaze. He does want to, not just to say thank you, but he really does feel better knowing that he’s satisfied Lu in some way. Sexually or domestically, it didn’t matter; he just wanted to make his Papa feel better.

He reaches down, cupping Lu’s dick through the soft cotton. He’s halfway hard, and Eddie doesn’t waste time teasing him through the fabric. Working his fingers in, he wraps his hand around Lu’s length, rubbing his thumb against the underside of the tip, just like Lu likes.

The older man groans softly, his hips bucking forward softly. “Just like that baby, just like that…” he murmurs.

Eddie takes the encouragement and reaches down with his other hand to tug down Lu’s boxers to get them out of the way. He pulls his hand off to lick at his palm, making it wetter, before returning it to Lu’s length. 

Lu hides his face in Eddie’s neck, his ever-present scruff scratching nicely against Eddie’s neck. When Lu finally comes, it’s with whispered praises against Eddie’s ear.

* * *

They’re curled up on the couch about two hours later, after showering and having what was technically brunch, at that point. Eddie had fit himself between Lu’s legs, his head resting on his chest, as they watched yet another episode of House Hunters International. Daytime television was never the best, but it was mindless, and that was all Eddie was looking for.

Especially because every moment they sat their in faux domestic bliss, the time got closer to when Lu needed to leave to get to the rink on time.

It’s on a commercial break when Eddie feels Lu’s hand in his hair. He hums softly at the touch, wanting more, and Lu gives it to him, before softly checking in.

Eddie shrugs. “Still feel shitty, but not as bad as last night,” he murmurs.

Lu would understand, the weight of a loss with nothing approaching to take the sting of it away. That was one nice thing about sharing an occupation with his significant other - he didn’t have to explain as much.

“What are your plans for the day?”

“I’m just going to stay here, if I can,” he replies, his voice small.

“Of course you can, chick, just wanted to make sure. You know you’re more than welcome here, anytime, right?”

Eddie looks up at Lu and sees him giving him the same loving look from before. It makes his heart throb and cock twitch at the same time. Mutely, he nods, before pulling himself up a little closer and kissing Lu.

Lu’s hand continues to play around with Eddie’s hair, making the kiss even more enjoyable, but Lu pulls back before Eddie can take it too much further.

“One more thing, baby, one more thing,” he placates when Eddie whines at him. “What do you need?”

It’s a loaded question just like the night before, but Eddie knows what he’s going for. He’s not as raw as before, and the night with Lu had helped so much more. He knows that he has to return to Raleigh for the clean out videos, and that Lu has to leave later that day for preparation for playoffs, but for now, the same stress or urgency wasn’t there.

“To stay here for a little while longer,” he responds, leaning down to kiss Lu again.

This time, Eddie gets to keep going.

**Author's Note:**

> and yes, when the panthers get knocked out in the first round in a 4-2 series loss, eddie will be there to console lu with whatever he needs (the answer: sex, pasta, and cuddles, not necessarily in that order. also plenty of wine.)
> 
> come yell with me about these boys on [tumblr.](http://eddieluongo.tumblr.com/)


End file.
